


The 12 times Mac and Dennis held each other all night without labelling it and the times they knew it was love

by bgsbgsbgs



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Catholic Guilt, Depression, Dissociation, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Mania, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-15 17:31:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7231990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgsbgsbgs/pseuds/bgsbgsbgs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These two need to get together<br/>TW for tags</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dennis could feel it, he was drowning and falling and everything and nothing at one. The corners of the room faded to nothing and blurred and God the shaking and sweating. You know this was bad he was dying but worst of all he couldn't breathe. He got up shakily, ready to topple. His hands were so damn pale. He needed the bathroom, get in there ....the safest place in the damn apartment 

Mac was on the couch, drinking a beer. As usual. 

"Come join me, bro"

Dennis tried to articulate an answer, any answer. It was more of a desperate groan. He made eye contact with Mac, didn't mean to...just stupid instinct. God Mac's face, he must have seen the fear, paralyzing fear in his eyes. 

"Den?" 

No answer

"Den, Den look....look at me...look me in the eyes" Mac got up and stood directly adjacent to Dennis, as his hands trembled adamantly. He reached an arm out and placed it on his bicep in that 'comforting' way. "You're going to be okay, Den" He smiled tentatively. "Aw shit" mumbled Mac, all of a sudden enveloping Dennis into a firm hug. And without warning to Dennis himself, he crumpled his entire weight against Mac's shoulder. Then came the tears, more a product of anxiety than anything but nonetheless hot and frustrated.

Taking this as an acceptance of sorts, Mac tightened his hold on Dennis, gripping him closer and closer until he could do no more. Rubbing circles in his deflated spine. 

After half an hour, when Dennis finally stopped shaking he moved them to the couch. An hour later, when he stopped crying he moved them into Dennis' bed and when Dennis finally regained his voice, with Mac's arms still tight around him, he whispered, almost inaudiably "Thanks Mac", to which Mac's sleeping form responded "what I'm here for bro" 

Dennis decided to never hide another panic attack from Mac again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High school macdennis

The first time Dennis decided to kill himself he was 17. It was no big thing, no big reason, he was just bored. Bored by everything and everyone the world has to offer. Bored of himself, bored of being empty. Above all, bored of being bored. 

He was too lazy to pick a night, it doesn't matter really. Dee would probably find him, I mean that sucks, he did love her, maybe even more than he hated her and Jesus it's a terrible thing but the note should give her closure. He didn't WANT to leave her but this shit is infinite you know. Doesn't matter, it doesn't seem like something to overthinking, it's his life to take. T

Any way tonight he was hanging out with Mac or rather Rat. He was packing up his shit to meet him when he bounded up to him. Dennis was 95% sure this kid was gay and 85% he was into him.

"Dennis! Dennis! Den! Oi Reynolds"

"Mac, I am facing you. I can see you idiot"

"Okay, well are you ready? Let's go"

"Yeah sure"

When they got to the parking lot, it was as hot as shit in Mac's piece of shit car. 

"Mac, are you a happy person?"

"Idk, where did this come from Den, I mean I guess not but like happiness is stupid...It's basically ecstasy....I don't think anyone is happy, high maybe but not happy"

"I guess, idk it's all a bit you know"

"No, Dennis I don't"

"Idk, like I think I'm broken....I can't be happy ever ....just bored and empty and anxious and its stupid but I already don't want to do this anymore"

"Do what? Do what Dennis?"

"Be alive I guess, it wouldn't matter if I died things would be better. I'm sorry I'm such a buzzkill"

"Shut up Dennis, I love you okay, so much I love you so much" shrieked Mac as he enveloped Dennis into a bear hug

"Can we go somewhere?"

"Sure" promised Mac as he drove them to his house.

So Mac made Dennis call his parents and stay the night. They sat in his basement watching dumb films and drinking tequila whilst Mac spooned Dennis to check he was still alive. They fell asleep intertwined and Dennis realised maybe, just maybe some things weren't boring after all


	3. Chapter 3

some days were worse than others, some days they would drink and drink until their vision went black. They would drink until they would hallucinate; they would drink until they couldn't remember how long they'd been this drunk for, hours, days, weeks?. They would drink until they forgot who each other were. Today was a bad day. 

They were two pints of spirits in. To them, the apartment was just colours.   
Mac stared lazily up at Dennis for a record amount of time. Finally Dennis noticed that there was a world outside his mind.   
"See something you like?"  
"Wouldn't you like to know?"  
"I like you, I'm Dennis"  
"I'm Ronnie the - sorry I'm Mac"   
"Mac?" Dennis said gesturing for him to take his hand.  
"Dennis, I think I love you" he says taking his hand  
"A lot of people have made that mistake"

and they held each clasped each other's palms the rest of the night


End file.
